Benefiting From Our Failures

"The major difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure." - John Maxwell

Failure is one of life's great forces; it's driven far more innovation than talent, creativity, or necessity combined. Above all, its stories are much better. Take for example Thomas Edison. He failed nearly 1,000 times to invent an incandescent light bulb.

Failure is natural, normal, and is going to happen. Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. The only real failure is failing to learn from failure

We have been programmed to avoid failure. As a result, we try to avoid it, as much as possible. Even worse, we deny having failed and push on steadily against increasing odds just to show 'em they mean business.

Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by which it is achieved. The distance between success and failure is so tiny. 'Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.'

"I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game-winning shot... and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that's precisely why I succeed." - Michael Jordan

It's the failures we face in life, large and small -- and the way we face them -- that make us who we are and give us the opportunity to make ourselves better. How we fail is at least as important as how we succeed. Keeping that in mind, I offer the following thoughts about failure - based in part upon my own direct experiences with the subject:

Fail with class

When failure is imminent, cut your losses; don't deceive yourself into thinking everything's fine, or that you have to "see things through to the bitter end".

Don't pull others down with you; and that means, don't waste time pointing fingers. Take responsibility for your failure. accept responsibility for the mess you've made, and be responsible enough to clean it up.

Have an alternative plan

Having an alternative plan is critical to eventual success. No plan is failure-proof; embracing failure means accepting the risks you're taking and being prepared for the worst.

Review and move-on

Review the events that led up to the particular failure. Did you miss anything? What could you have done anything differently? Avoid blaming others, it is not productive. However, if you misplaced your trust in others, consider why you to put your trust in them to begin with.

Get a different point of view

Tell someone not closely tied to the situation what happened. Be clear and concise, tell it like it really was - no excuses. Find out what they would have done differently, and ask what advice they'd give you if you were just setting out on the effort..

Stop doing that!

TV Psychologist Dr. Phil says: "Insanity is when you do the same thing over and over, hoping for different results."

Once you've identified your mistakes, make an effort to avoid them in the future. I know this sounds like plain common sense, but like they say, common sense isn't common. Think of all the times you've seen someone go through an awful divorce only to take up with a new spouse with the same faults as the one they just dumped.

Do something!

Fail actively; don't give up and stand like a deer in the road, vacant-eyed, watching the headlights overtake you. The rudder on a super tanker is quite small in comparison to the rest of the ship, yet it controls the direction of the ship. The rudder is useless however if the ship is not moving. Without movement, it is merely potential waiting to happen.

Failure is the most important learning tool we humans have at our disposal. But if we merely accept failure and move on, we will not learn from the experience. Instead, accept your failures, derive from them every last morsel of information available. Ask yourself what you can take away from your failures, what you're being given by them.

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." - Thomas Alva Edison

If you look at all of the ultimate success stories, both personally and professionally, they all had to bounce back at one time or another. Some of the most spectacular successes in life have come from people who took risk and failed. Keep in mind; anybody who has had success has always had failures.