Topic ID: 471 | 38 Posts
Thought I would start a fun post to see how many clever and humorous posts that we as wrestlers and fans can produce. This is similar to Jeff Foxworthy's "you might be a redneck if..."
My first one is...
...the lady cutting your hair at the local barber shop is afraid to touch your ears.
...if your butt is permantently flat from sitting on the bleachers at all day tournaments for too many years.
...if your a member of this website! 
....if your mother can properly demonstrate a guillotine, a jap wizzer, and a granby roll
very cool thread btw.
if one of the first things you do in the morning (and last thing at night) is check this site for new postings.
if you and your wife have a standing date to watch the state finals together.
if your children get their first headgear and wrestling shoes before their first bike (insert favorite toddler item).
...if you still check your weight after every trip to the bathroom
Wear headgear when out in a blizzard.
if every saturday at weigh ins ur sporting a new mat burner on ur face
good wretlers face dont get matburn
Talk to your girlfriend about how much you want to wrestle HER!
bop how would u know?
If you sleep on your stomach, and when you roll over on your back you wake up in a bridge.
I dont have matburn on my face thats how i know
you might be a wrestlign fanatic if:
............When you go to McDonalds you take the food home and weigh in with the food in your hand to make sure you will still make weight.
.............Many years after you graduated you still refer yourself as a 103 pounder (your graduating wt class), even though you now weigh over 200 lbs.
... if you've learned to appreciate the smell of a well-aged kneepad.
... if you think spittin' is an acceptable weight-loss program.
... if your weight fluctutes by more than 10 pounds - in an hour.
... if you buy gatorade by the pickup load.
... if "I dunno" has been replaced by crossing your arms in front of your body (defer).
... if you think anyone looks good in a singlet.
... if you know which way to lean on any scale to obtain the lowest weight.
... if you have ever wrestled your dog.
Ahhh those kneepads...quite possibly the hardest thing to get the funk out of. As for still checking my weight every time I go the bathroom...I'm guilty of that one.
...if the family room furniture is always pushed all the way against the walls.
when watching a football game you jump up everytime someone is tackled and yell "2 takedown"!
If you yell for a duck under at a basketball game
If you yell for a duck under at a basketball game
I've actually done this one.
If all you do when yoou go to a basketball game is try to figure out how many wrestling mats you could fit in that gym. I do it all the time.
.....anyone can yell "Half!!" or any other moves and you know exactly what they are talking about.
These have happened to me before... maybe I'm a wrestling fanatic.... Well, at least a FAN...
- When two co-workers scuffle (just playing around), you pull them to the side and show them the proper stance and how to do a double.
- When you have a bunch of old and really worn-out VHS tapes of wresling movies; Vision Quest, Hadley's Revenge, etc.
- You buy the Sunday paper and throw all of it away except for the wrestling results.
- Your daughter comes home and proceeds to tell you about her new boyfriend, and you stop her in mid-sentence and ask, "Soooooo, what weight class does he wrestle in?" And when she tells you he does nothing but play trumpet in the marching band, you tell her to ditch him. And on the flip-side, she ends up dating a wrestler and you have him over to the house for dinner; you have a 3-hour conversation with him while she does her homework.
- You keep all your old medals, trophies, etc. in a locked cabinet and only show them to your most trusted friends.
- You go to your daughter's basketball game, and spend the whole time "sizing up the gym" to see how large a wrestling tournament they could host.
- Your kid wants to show you her friends' pics in her annual, but the first thing you look for is to see who the wrestling coach is.
- Anytime someone mentions being from Indiana, no matter WHO it is or what the conversation, the first words out of your mouth are "I won the Mater Dei Invitational three years in a row in my weight class in high school." They look at you like... uh, what the heck is that??
- And finally... You drop your daugher off for her basketball game, and instead of going in to watch her, you go watch a dual match in the other gym.
If you hurryup and get on this web site during the comercials of the super-bowl to see if anything new is posted.
If your entire wardrobe during the wrestling season consists of sweat pants, Big coats, & sweatshirts
if one of your siblings, or little cousins or even friends jump on you as in playful fighting/wrestling and you take them down right away and yell "2!!! takedown!!!"
if one of your siblings' date=' or little cousins or even friends jump on you as in playful fighting/wrestling and you take them down right away and yell "2!!! takedown!!!"[/quote']
I've done this one be-4! 8)
if your wife browses this site so she can actually be part of your conversations at home (which are basically about wrestling 24/7 this time of year).
- from my wife yesterday
IF the you married a girl becuase she knew more about wrestling than you do.
...you have more t-shirts with wrestling slogans than you have underwear.
...your vacation plans include 3 days in Frankfort in mid-February!
You have to build those vacation days into the schedule.
...your girlfriend has seen more state tournaments than you have.
or
...your sister/girlfriend can name all the individual champions since 1997!!
You named your dog Gable.
...if you go to sign your kid up for wrestling, the coach tells you he's not taking Kindergartener's and you challenge him on the mat to change his mind (he won't...friggon' wuss).
...said parent has no one wrestling in the family, therefore no vested interest and still reads the posts on this site daily.
...said parent is also a single mom.
Great thread!!!
If someone falls down in the stands at a wrestling tourney and you yell 2 Takedown :wink:
If someone falls down in the stands at a wrestling tourney and you yell 2 Takedown
^^^That was frigg'n hillarious!^^^
You might be a fanatic if you have a lifetime suply of lotromin (ring worm medication)