OK, I want to here from the dads and from the sons on this.

For the dad, I would think that it would put more pressure on you and your son if you are the head coach of a team that your son is on, do you feel this is true/

For the sons, do you think it was added pressure for your dad to coach you, and if so do you believe that having someone else work with you on a daily basis would make it an easier situation?

My dad coached me in Football when I was younger, and I did not have a problem with it. Wrestling though is a whole new animal, so I was just wondering what everyone thought, Thanx.

I believe it all depends on the circumstances, the dad, and the kid(s).

some of the best have been coached by there dad, John Fayhe, Harrison Courtney, JoJo Carr. I think that since this sport is sooo asking and you have to be dedicated, and you have to be really really disciplined, and all of this is on you while you're trying to cut weight, it might be comforting to have you're father always there to push you. For me its more of my brothers, the support i get from them is enough to make me want to wrestle the rest of my life( not saying i am haha) but like if some kid told me to do something while i was on the mat i would get frustrated, but if my brother drew or my cuzs' Shane P, and Rusty P told me to do something it was already done. Im not saying thats a good thing, you should listen to your team mates.

Yes wrestling is very demanding, so it is almost crucial that your parent be knowledgeable. I cant count how many times my father sat in my corer because my coach was with someone else or we were at a freestyle meet together. Parents play a huge role in coaching their son or daughter in wrestling the way I see it.

Assuming your coach is good I almost always say that a dad should never coach his own sun because there's usually too much baggage, what happened he night before at home or bitter feelings in general.  Most push their kids harder than the other kids which can be negative in the wrestler's development, although some relationships are good enough or the dad can take a step back when needed.  It is my policy that I want the dads out on the mat helping me but they should stay away from their own sons unless otherwise has been decided by the coaching staff.  Obviously some kids don't have a quality coach and so their father is really the only resource they have so it's a little different.

This one is right up my alley:

    I struggled with this decision a long time.  I remember when my father coached me in baseball.  I wasn't the best kid on the team but good enough to start and then be replaced in late innings.  However when my father (who was the assistant coach) had to take the head coaching duties in absence of the head coach I usually didn't play that game. He feared that the other parents would think he was playing favoritism. 

    When my son started getting interested in wrestling I was already the head coach at Holmes.  He was not going to attend Holmes, we live in Campbell Co.  The first few years 4-6 I only worked with him at home.  His middle school coach worked with him at practice (even though I attended them).  It was difficult because I had coached his middle school coach years before.  I also was unable to attend many of his matches because of my obligations to my high school team.  I became more active his 7th grade year with his training, but still unable to attend many matches.  At region he was a 4th seed and won the tourney.  I was able to attend that tourney and sat in his corner with his coach.  When he won in the finals his coach said to me "he only wrestles this good when you are here".  That sealed it for me.

    This year (his 8th grade year) I was fully involved with his training at practice and such, and became one of the assistant coaches.  He had a fairly successful year placing 6th.  I believe now he is kind of lost without me in his corner.  Next year when he moves to the high school coach Bankemper has already told me that I am more than welcome to come and coach (Since I had began my coaching career under him).

    One one the most important rules that I have given myself is this.  Once we reach the driveway at home I am no longer his coach. I don't initiate any conversations about his matches.  (However I have parked on the street a few times so continue a conversation  :-D)  If he wants to talk about what happened once we get inside I try to be more positive and more fatherly.  He doesn't know about this rule that I have given myself.  But it seems to have worked. 

    The best way to do this is get support from other fathers who coached their sons.  I was lucky in that I was able to call coach Bankemper and ask him how he and his son Corey worked things out.  I took that information and tried to apply it to our situations.  I also asked other coaches and how they handled it.  Everyone has a different way to approach a situation but getting ideas and support always helps. 

    I will say this however as a father sitting in the corner in a close match you will second guess yourself more if it is your kid.  I told the other coaches to never leave me alone in the corner with my son.  I just wanted someone to say that the decisions I made were the right ones.  Even though with other kids I wouldn't hesitate to make the same decision.

    Hope this answers your question.

This is difficult.  From a Mom's perspective I can tell you it is difficult and rewarding at the same time.  Yes, I believe the Dad as head coach will be harder on their own son and expect a higher level of commitment, work ethic, and maturity than they would any other member of the team.  In our case we always had one or two assistant coaches that spent most of the time coaching and working with the boys.  In my opinion, the key to keeping the relationship healthy and solid is communication.  Both the Dad and the Son have to be able to talk about how they feel, why they expect what they expect, etc.  My experience (and I'm on #3) is that this relationship can create a very close relationship between Dad and Son... but there will be tough times.  You will spend a LOT of time together and not always be successful so it can be stressful.  Talk and Listen to each other and it can be a really good experience in the long run. 

Although my father was never officially my coach, he always sat in the corner and was involved in practice.  I had more problems with team mates thinking we went home and moved the coffee table and went at it. It was actually the complete opposite because we never talked about wrestling unless I brought it up.  He did encourage me to do running every night my first year of wrestling but only watched over me the other three.  I must say it felt good me having him in my corner my four years.  We did go at it once in practice in which he kicked me out.  Ironically I sat in the locker room and waited for him to give me a ride home :-).

Since having my own son now, I ony hope that we can share the same bond in wrestling that me and my dad have.  We were not at each others throats but we certainly got closer through the wrestling.  For all those parents that support their kids, you will never know what a blessing it is.  I have coached many wrestlers and I can count on more than two hands how many I have had that never had a parent see them wrestle.  I think parents involved in their childs sport is wonderful as long as the parent keeps it in perspective.  Do not try to live your dreams through your childs.

I'd talk to the Ervins about this.  They seem to have mastered this father coach thing.  I've seen them at a lot of tournaments and I've never seen any type of incidents between the coaches and son.