Earning Respect

by Coach Doug Reese, TTNL

Without respect, a coach will never be able to get his/her players to do what they ask.

In Stephen Covey's book...The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, he states:

"If I try to use human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what I want, to work better, to be more motivated, to like me and each other - while my character is fundamentally flawed, marked by duplicity or insincerity - then, in the long run, I cannot be successful. My duplicity will breed distrust, and everything I do - even using so called good human relations techniques - will be perceived as manipulative.

It simply makes no difference how good the rhetoric is or even how good the intentions are; if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success. Only basic goodness gives life to technique."

Respect must be earned over time. There are no shortcuts. It is earned through the consistent embodiment of three important attributes.

Trustworthiness

Athletes never respect a person they cannot trust. Never. The best coaches know this and work immediately on letting their players know that they can be trusted. Mike Krzyzewski, head basketball coach of Duke University, put it this way: "If you set up an atmosphere of communication and trust, it becomes a tradition. Older team members will establish your credibility with newer ones. Even if they don't like everything about you, they will still say, "He's trustworthy, committed to us as a team."

A Caring Attitude

In coaching athletes there is truth in this statement - "Athletes don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." It's true. It the athletes sense that you really care about them, that you have their best interests at heart, then they will listen to you and respect you.

Former University of Michigan head football coach Bo Schembechler said, "Deep down, your players must know you care about them. This is the most important thing. I could never get away with what I do if the players felt I didn't care. They know, in the long run, I'm in their corner."

The Ability to Make Hard Decisions

Athletes cannot respect a coach you cannot make the hard decisions necessary for a team to succeed. When a coach is willing to make those decisions, the athletes know that they are acting in the team's best interests. They feel secure, and they in turn are more likely to act in the team's best interest themselves.

Tom Landry, NFL Hall of Fame coach of the Dallas Cowboys said, "Perhaps the toughest call for a coach is weighing what is best for an individual against what is best for the team. Keeping a player on the roster just because I liked him personally, or even because or his great contributions to the team in the past, when I felt some one else could do more for the team would be a disservice to the team's goals?" He would also lose his players' respect.